Loving Thy Mormon Neighbor

It seems to me that "Mormonism" is the latest media fad. But what really intrigues me is how hateful some self-proclaimed "Christians" can be. Ignorance I can understand. I can even understand vehemently defending one's belief system. What I have a hard time understanding is the hypocrisy and angry intentions of some of those professing to love and follow God and His son Jesus Christ.

I'm talking about the people who respond to blogs, news articles and other media saying that they follow the Bible or that they are the "true" Christians and yet they hold deep seated hatred for members of other faiths including members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) - often referred to as the Mormons.

So to those who feel self-righteous, who believe that they are endowed with the authority to determine who is a real Christian and who is going to Hell, let me just quote the following:

Mathew 7
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye;

Mark 12
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these (the first being to love the Lord).

Luke 10 - (The Good Samaritan)
29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

If you are a true Christian and profess to live life according to the Bible then you must love Mormons, refrain from judging them and be compassionate toward them.

Should Dating LDS Couples Kiss?

How much physical affection is demonstrated in an intimate relationship will be, and needs to be, different for every couple. However living the gospel can be a great foundation for couples who want, and or need, to set some limits.

Here are a few thoughts about what those limits should be.

1. The age and dating experience of the individuals involved plays a huge role in determining what those limits should be. Although physical attraction is universal regardless of age, the younger and less experienced a person is the more likely they will be to allow themselves to get caught up in the physical pleasures of an intimate relationship.

This is because the newness of physical affection and the power it can have on one's ability to put the breaks on makes it very difficult to say stop. Our brains aren't fully developed until around age 23. Before then we lack the ability to make the most rational decisions regarding the consequences to our behaviors. Consequently, prior to age 23 or so, your limits should be very conservative. A kiss goodnight, at the door, after a date, may be as far as you agree to go. Anything else can easily lead to behaviors that will later be regretted.

2. Rules often seem old fashioned, but physical attraction and sexual desire have been the same since Adam and Eve. That is the way God created us so that we would be able to reproduce. And since the beginning of the human race, couples who have not set firm boundaries and limits regarding their dating behaviors have ended up paying an enormous price for indiscretion.

Any time a couple allows themselves to become intimate to the point of spending their time together experiencing the physical pleasures of intimacy they are putting themselves at risk. Even "making out" can lead to crossing boundaries that would not be crossed if a limit had been agreed upon ahead of time. You can be sexual with any one, but getting to know another person for who they really are requires spending time together doing things that allow you to experience them in non sexual ways.

So if your goal is to get a short-lived thrill that you may later regret, spend your time together exploring each other physically. But if your goal is to get to know your date, or to determine if you want to pursue a long lasting relationship, set your limits to a single but meaningful kiss at the door.

The rule of thumb is to never allow yourself to engage in an activity that you would be embarrassed for your mother to witness.

Be an Imperfect Parent

Around age 6-7 children begin to see their parents’ humanness. They begin to wonder why mom says “don’t take what doesn’t belong to you,” and then eats a grape at the grocery story while shopping. “Isn’t that stealing mom?”

We want our children to learn perfect principles and sometimes we mistakenly expect more from them than we expect from ourselves. But what should a parent do when they have done something so obviously wrong that even their little children notice?

Just as you tell your children that “honesty is the best policy,” when you do something wrong you have to be able to own up to it and come clean with your child. Admit that what you did was wrong. If the infraction was against them, apologize. If someone else was involved tell your child how you plan to make it right. And if there was no other injured party, tell your child that you know that what you did was wrong. Let them know that you make mistakes too and that you try very hard to make as few as possible.

In short, be an example. Being honest with your child about your own humanness will help them feel less troubled about their own. Showing them how you handle your mistakes shows them how to handle theirs. Yes, they will eventually figure out that you aren’t perfect but in the process they will learn valuable life lessons. And isn’t that what parenting is all about?

More parenting tips at http://www.psych-net.com

Living With Adversity Part 1

This story was originally printed in the Manchester, England, Guardian and later reprinted in the Deseret News. And eventually it was told by President Hinkley in General Conference several years ago.
A hurricane had hit the West Indies, and a bricklayer was sent to repair the damage. He wrote to the home office as follows:
"Respected Sirs:
"When I got to the building I found that the hurricane had knocked some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks. When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom, and then went up and filled the barrel with the extra bricks. Then I went to the bottom and cast off the line. Unfortunately the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground. I decided to hang on, and halfway up I met the barrel coming down and received a severe blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my finger jammed in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground it bursted its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed. Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up and received severe injuries to my shins. When I hit the ground I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges. At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go of the line. The barrel then came down, giving me another heavy blow on the head and putting me in hospital. I respectfully request sick leave."

Suffering comes to all of us. Sometimes it is mental. Sometimes it is physical. Sometimes it may even be spiritual.

Adversity, in one form or another, is the universal experience of mankind. It is the common lot of all men [and women] to experience misfortune, suffering, sickness, or other adversities. Often our work is arduous and unnecessarily demanding. Our faith is tried in various ways—sometimes unjustly tried. At times it seems that even God is punishing us. One of the things that makes adversity so hard to bear is that we feel as if we alone have been chosen for this affliction while others presumably escape trial and adversity.

On one occasion, in the presence of the Prophet Joseph Smith, someone commented that a person was suffering affliction because of his sins. The Prophet Joseph responded that that was an unhallowed statement to make—that afflictions come to all.
Likewise, President Harold B. Lee related the story of a seriously ill infant who had just received a blessing; a man who was present observed: "This is one of our finest and most faithful families. I don't know why they should be thus afflicted."

Some misunderstand. It does not necessarily follow that righteousness immunizes us against adversity. President Lee taught us that living the gospel of Jesus Christ is no guarantee that adversity will not come into our lives; but living the gospel does give us the strength and faith and power to rise above that adversity and look beyond the present trouble to the brighter day.

Too often we are shortsighted as we view the effects of adversity in our life. We fail to see the purifying and refining effect wrought by the flames of adversity. These flames are not meant to consume, but to purify us. Disguised as adversity, blessings are showered upon us.

Henry Ward Beecher said, "Affliction comes to us all, not to make us sad, but sober; not to make us sorry, but to make us wise; not to make us despondent, but by its darkness to refresh us as the night refreshes the day; not to impoverish, but to enrich us.

I often counsel my clients to refrain from believing that their depressive mood or their current oppressive situation will last forever. In fact it will not. The good news is that all feelings are transient and so are the trials in our life. Our work is to grow past our defeatist moods and to discover the best way to survive our most harrowing trials. In so doing we are given the opportunity to turn our weakness into our strengths; and to then help others as they are faced with their most harrowing trials.
Thomas Carlyle wrote "Out of the lowest depths, there is a path to the loftiest heights."

Lives of great people teach us that many of them rose to significant achievement because of their adversities. We may never become great in worldly terms, but we are great in our Heavenly Father’s eyes, in the eyes of our children and we have been given the opportunity to become our own greatest ally in our pursuit of eternal glory if we determine to learn from our dark moments. Our capacity to endure suffering is a spiritual attribute.

Elder A. Theodore Tuttle Of the First Council of the Seventy offered this:
“Those who have been driven to their knees in weakness, grief, and humility commune with God not in the learned cliches of prayer, but in heartfelt, soul-revealing communion. And when our Father sustains and assures a tested faith and a tested love, they learn the sweetness of adversity.”

While living the gospel will not necessarily temper the elements, it will temper you so you can endure the trials. Come with patience to your afflictions.

Sweet indeed are the uses of adversity. If we bear adversity well, we can learn the principle enunciated by Moroni: “ wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Eth. 12:6.)

We need to have faith that the Lord is watching over us and He will not allow us to falter as long as we lean on him.

Credits: Photo named "We Shall Overcome" is by By Noel

Who's a Member of Your Ward?

Mormons are just people, regular, human-type people. Sure, we have knowledge and opportunities that have been offered to us and we have a path to follow that not everyone understands, but other than that, we are just like anyone else.

Why do I bring this up? Because, while we have been given much, we sometimes forget that we, and the other members of our wards and stakes, are human too. So I have compiled some typical, ward statistics that I thought you might find interesting.

• One out of every 100 people in the average ward population has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
• Ten percent of your ward population has experienced depression this year and half of them deal with a lifetime of depressive episodes. Forty-five percent of your ward members experience an episode of depression sometime before the age of 45.
• Fifteen percent of the general population has a diagnosable personality disorder.
• 0.5 – 2.5 percent of your ward population suffers with clinical paranoia.
• Two percent of your ward population has Antisocial Personality Disorder (formerly known as sociopaths)
• Two percent have incurable Borderline Personality Disorder
• One percent is diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and another 15% have significant symptoms of the disorder.
• Five percent have a schizoid or schizotypal disorder.
• Ten percent are significantly physically disabled.
• 2.6 to 3.4% are legally blind.
• 8.2% have significant hearing impairments – 0.8% have severe to profound hearing impairments.
• Three percent are mentally retarded.
• Between one and eight percent of children have specific learning disabilities.
• Between 0.5-1.5% have recurring seizures.
• Twenty-four percent have been divorced at least once.
• And 0.320% of all incarcerated people are LDS.

Let’s get about the business of loving our neighbors and spend much less time judging each other.