Forgiveness - The Gift you Give Yourself

The Holiday Season reminds us to be compassionate toward others. But what about someone who has offended you in some way? How can you be compassionate toward someone you feel has hurt you? Forgiving someone who has offended you is the best way to let go of negative energy and hurt feelings.

Forgiveness isn't about condoning the offending behavior, nor is it about forgetting that it ever happened. Forgiveness is a choice to no longer allow the offender's previous behavior to control your emotions. It is about letting go of your anger, and choosing to step out of the victim role.

What is forgiveness?

There's no single definition of forgiveness. But in general, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness is the act of releasing yourself from thoughts and feelings that keep you tied to the offense committed against you. Doing so can reduce the power these feelings have had over you. When you forgive, you can live a freer and happier life in the present instead of focusing on your negative past experience. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting what happened to you. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. And forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

There are also tangible benefits to forgiving?

Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being unforgiving and being forgiving. Evidence shows that holding onto grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits, including:

* Lower blood pressure
* Stress reduction
* Less hostility
* Better anger management skills
* Lower heart rate
* Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
* Fewer depression symptoms
* Fewer anxiety symptoms
* Reduction in chronic pain
* More friendships
* Healthier relationships
* Greater religious or spiritual well-being
* Improved psychological well-being

Help yourself - forgive your offender and live a happier, less stress-filled life.

Dealing with Holiday Stress

How Stressed are You Really? Stress is an unavoidable result of living. It is a necessary part of growing, learning, and relating to others. However, too much stress (distress) can cause serious consequences in one’s physical and mental health. Recent scientific research has found that people in the 1990s experience 45% more stress than what was reported by people in the 1965 (Miller and Rahe, 1997). If you are interested in comparing the stress in your life this research, take the Personal Stress Indicator by clicking below: The point calculator for my tests is out of commission so add up your score and click the answer link at the bottom of the test page. Effects of Stress Stress Indicator Quiz Articles on Stress Stress Reduction Dealing With Holiday Stress

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