Daily Arrogance and an Attitude of Gratitude

We often hear people use the phrase "An attitude of gratitude," but what does that mean exactly? Aside from the obvious, I have been thinking lately about being picky, unsatisfied or covetous and how those traits relate to gratitude - or lack of it.

I was teaching a lesson in seminary a few weeks ago that had to do with people neglecting to express their gratitude to the Lord for everything and I began to think about some of the ways I have been ungrateful.

I can be picky at times. For instance, Once when given a gift for my birthday I wondered why the giver had chosen a less expensive model instead of one that was more exciting. I let this thought bother me for weeks feeling resentful at times. That was decades ago and I'd like to think I have matured some since then. But looking back it was incredibly ungrateful of me to feel anything but gratitude. No one is obligated to give me anything, regardless of the occasion. And the Lord has given me so much that I have no right to expect more from Him or anyone else. Being picky, and then resentful, kept me from being grateful.

I have a friend who often compares himself to others and ends up feeling deprived. Regardless of what he has, he can always find someone who he perceives as having more, bigger, better. Instead of being grateful for what the Lord has blessed him with, he feels like he is "less than" in the eyes of God for not having been given the biggest and the best. This keeps him from feeling grateful and appreciative for what he does have.

I have a relative who wants to be seen as part of the "in crowd." He has spent his life trying to obtain what his neighbors and colleagues seem to have. When a friend buys a fancy car he begins to covet that car as well as the lifestyle his friend seems to enjoy. Coveting blinds him to the wonderfulness of his own life. Believing that he just isn't good enough unless he is like everyone else keeps him from recognizing the talents and gifts he has been given. He sells himself short and he isn't able to sincerely give thanks to God for his life, family or material blessings.

These are obvious examples, but every time we get upset because the maid forgot to clean a window seal, or when we tell a child that they could have done a better job selling those chocolate bars, we are forgetting to be grateful. We forget that we have so much more than most people in the world. We take for granted that our children are healthy and able to participate in school fund raisers. We become narcissistic and arrogant, believing that we deserve even more than we have been granted. And we forget that everything we have - even our next breath, has been given to us by God.

The Two Sides of Adversity

“As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort”(see Mosiah 18:8–9).

As members of a ward family we are often called upon to assist in caring for others in our ward who need physical, emotional and spiritual help. Doing so not only brings blessings to those who are in need but it helps us, the provider, deepen our compassion, feel needed, and live less selfishly.

All of us will experience the difficulties that this life can bring; surviving difficulty is a large part of our journey in this estate. Growing through those difficulties is not just about learning the lesson of the trial, but it is about humbling ourselves enough to ask for and to receive help from others.

Both sides of adversity can be a growing experience. In the long run, the adversity of one can benefit the lives of many as long as humility and compassion work together. Bishop Richard C. Edgley, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric related the following in Conference last October:

"From bearing one another’s burdens as ward members, we have learned several lessons:

1. The Lord’s organization is fully adequate to know and care for those with even the most dire emotional and spiritual needs.
2. Adversity can bring us closer to God, with a renewed and enlightened appreciation for prayer and the Atonement, which covers pain and suffering in all their manifestations.
3. Members who suffer tragedy firsthand often experience an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding. They become the first, last, and often the most effective responders in giving comfort and showing compassion to others.
4. A ward, as well as a family, draws closer together as it endures together—what happens to one happens to all.
5. And perhaps most important, we can each be more compassionate and caring because we have each had our own personal trials and experiences to draw from. We can endure together."

I have experienced both sides of diversity and I have also been blessed with enormous growth from each side. Let's be grateful for our ward family and for the challenges the Lord gives us to work through. In the arms of our ward family we never have to tackle hardship alone.